Are men from Mars?
Men carry a heavy burden of cultural expectations around the IDEA of being a MAN: Be Strong; Be confident; Be successful.
But the HOW of learning and living these admirable qualities seems to be missing in how young men are trained, educated, and raised. How do men become strong, confident, and successful? Almost as important, how do men manage discouragement, handle fears, and cope with setbacks. Indeed, the challenge of appearing strong while the fear of losing rather than succeeding can push any man into despair. And without an inner sense of emotional strength, the possibility for success becomes much more elusive, setting up a sense of failure which in turn, further undermines a sense of confidence.
Unfortunately, far too many men experience this cycle of despair. How do they deal with it? When married, they often depend on their partners for unconditional emotional support, frequently creating nearly insurmountable stress in their relationships.
As a practicing psychotherapist, many times I find myself working with a woman who expresses concerns to me about her husband. Her frustration will usually center around her partner’s underdeveloped emotional life and overly dependent demands for her unconditional acceptance and support. I can understand her disappointment and certainly share one of her main frustrations: why are men so often reluctant to try psychotherapy or coaching?
Here are my TOP FIVE REASONS MEN SHOULD GIVE THERAPY A TRY!
#1. Therapy is a sign of SUCCESS, not weakness.
Men understand team sports: it takes a coach, a commitment to practicing, and encountering disappointments in order to become better. Therapy is like that, too.
#2 The possibility of change creates a sense of hope and courage!
Change is a continuous part of life. Resistance to change can be exhausting. Therapy helps us understand the possibility of making positive changes where we have previously lacked the courage or know-how to make a change. It can free up energy previously spent resisting inevitable change. Therapy can also help us cope successfully with accepting matters that are outside our control. The combination of courage and patience are the hallmarks of true strength.
#3 Men can convert a relationship filled with frustration to one that is full of promise!
Experiencing emotions and understanding how to use them to communicate with your partner has positive benefits. Almost all women report relationship improvement and a higher degree of connection with their husband after his participation in therapy.
#4 Confiding builds confidence: an experienced and trustworthy psychotherapist cares about helping you develop a successful life.
Working with a psychotherapist gives men the space and opportunity to understand past experiences and emotions, and the ability to see how they affect current life. Psychotherapy can build confidence as the therapist coaches men to practice focusing on their own experience and on how to navigate relationships socially, romantically, and professionally.
#5. Developing the emotional side of life is a great investment!
It has a positive impact on physical health, it decreases stress levels, and helps develop healthier relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and significant others